katherine sokolowski: Shielding Our Students from Darkness
Okay, so this isn't a book review, but I desperately wanted to share a quote from Katherine Sokolowski's blog with you all. She describes teaching language arts to young students and it resonated with me. I have seen, on countless occasions, times when parents and educators try to shelter children from every bad thing. Sadly, this isn't doing them any good.
I'm a mom. In fact, I have three wonderful daughters aged 5, 7, and 11. They have all suffered the loss of loved ones, been through the struggles of separation, and witnessed what drug and alcohol abuse can do to people they love. It's ugly, this life we live in. It's beautiful, too, but it isn't made more beautiful by ignoring the ugliness and pretending it doesn't exist. When my five-year-old asks me, "why did grandma die from cancer?" I don't pretty it up. We talk about it. No matter how hard it is.
Some people may say that she's too young to understand, and to them, I would say that they should underestimate her. She understands more than we realize. I don't speak to her as though she's a baby. She is a child and she gets to play and imagine and create as a child should, but she's also not ignorant of the struggles in this world. The ugliness like cancer that slowly destroys from within. I would argue that failing to prepare our children for the darkness of the world, and failing to teach them how to navigate that darkness, is a cancer of its own.
My 11-year-old has asked me, on more than one occasion, why her uncle, whom she loves, does drugs or drinks and drives. He's allowed to be around when he's sober, but the thing is, when he ended up in the hospital, I didn't lie to her about why he was there. She knows. And the thing is, she decided that seeing his life is motivation enough to not want to touch the substances that have since taken hold of his life. What if I didn't talk to her about the hard stuff? What then? Would she be rebellious enough to try it just to spite me?
Are we naive enough to believe that pretending like life is all sunshine and rainbows will make it so? That's why books and children's stories that talk about the hard stuff are so important. They teach our children how to overcome adversity and how to be empathetic. Can you imagine Harry Potter without its protagonist being made an orphan by a power-hungry and murderous tyrant? What about Umbridge, in Order of the Phoenix, with her prim and proper ways, looking sweet in pink, and even more detestable than Voldemort himself. I think I hate Umbridge so much because she's the type of evil person we are more likely to encounter. It isn't likely that we'll encounter someone with a killing curse who murders our parents because a prophecy said we would end their reign. However, it is highly likely that we will encounter people who seem, on the outside appearance, to be well-mannered, employed, and respected who treat others in the most awful and controlling ways.
That being said, you should go read Katherine's post. The following quote I have somewhat summed up above, but it was my favorite paragraph of the entire article:
Life is hard, harder for some than others. My favorite part of teaching Language Arts is that we get to examine our own lives while learning about the lives of others - fictional and not. Reading makes us more empathetic people, if we let it. After twenty-one years of teaching I am still convinced that the world would be different if we all read, if we all soaked up stories that are not our own. Just as important is that reading allows us to see our own stories inside of books too. Some of our stories are "dark". I wish I could change that, but I can't.
I'm a mom. In fact, I have three wonderful daughters aged 5, 7, and 11. They have all suffered the loss of loved ones, been through the struggles of separation, and witnessed what drug and alcohol abuse can do to people they love. It's ugly, this life we live in. It's beautiful, too, but it isn't made more beautiful by ignoring the ugliness and pretending it doesn't exist. When my five-year-old asks me, "why did grandma die from cancer?" I don't pretty it up. We talk about it. No matter how hard it is.
Some people may say that she's too young to understand, and to them, I would say that they should underestimate her. She understands more than we realize. I don't speak to her as though she's a baby. She is a child and she gets to play and imagine and create as a child should, but she's also not ignorant of the struggles in this world. The ugliness like cancer that slowly destroys from within. I would argue that failing to prepare our children for the darkness of the world, and failing to teach them how to navigate that darkness, is a cancer of its own.
My 11-year-old has asked me, on more than one occasion, why her uncle, whom she loves, does drugs or drinks and drives. He's allowed to be around when he's sober, but the thing is, when he ended up in the hospital, I didn't lie to her about why he was there. She knows. And the thing is, she decided that seeing his life is motivation enough to not want to touch the substances that have since taken hold of his life. What if I didn't talk to her about the hard stuff? What then? Would she be rebellious enough to try it just to spite me?
Are we naive enough to believe that pretending like life is all sunshine and rainbows will make it so? That's why books and children's stories that talk about the hard stuff are so important. They teach our children how to overcome adversity and how to be empathetic. Can you imagine Harry Potter without its protagonist being made an orphan by a power-hungry and murderous tyrant? What about Umbridge, in Order of the Phoenix, with her prim and proper ways, looking sweet in pink, and even more detestable than Voldemort himself. I think I hate Umbridge so much because she's the type of evil person we are more likely to encounter. It isn't likely that we'll encounter someone with a killing curse who murders our parents because a prophecy said we would end their reign. However, it is highly likely that we will encounter people who seem, on the outside appearance, to be well-mannered, employed, and respected who treat others in the most awful and controlling ways.
That being said, you should go read Katherine's post. The following quote I have somewhat summed up above, but it was my favorite paragraph of the entire article:
Life is hard, harder for some than others. My favorite part of teaching Language Arts is that we get to examine our own lives while learning about the lives of others - fictional and not. Reading makes us more empathetic people, if we let it. After twenty-one years of teaching I am still convinced that the world would be different if we all read, if we all soaked up stories that are not our own. Just as important is that reading allows us to see our own stories inside of books too. Some of our stories are "dark". I wish I could change that, but I can't.
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